PLAYS

SELECTED PRODUCTIONS

THE WALLS OF AFRICA – Alianak Theatre Productions at Théâtre Passe Muraille Backspace, 2001 and 2003

LUCKY STRIKE

• Théâtre Passe Muraille, 1996
• Quainzaine Festival, Quebec City, 1986
• ICA Theatre, London, UK, 1981
• Everyman Theatre, Liverpool, UK, 1981
• Café La Mama, New York, 1979
• Kennedy Center, Washington, D.C., 1979
• Factory Theatre Lab, 1978

NIGHT – Théâtre Passe Muraille, 1975 and 1979

THE BLUES

• Théâtre Passe Muraille, 1976 and 2003 
• Toronto Free Theatre 1979
• Vancouver Playhouse, 1977
•  National Arts Centre, Ottawa 1976
• Victoria Playhouse, Petrolia, 1976.

PASSION AND SIN, Toronto Free Theatre, 1976

CHRISTMAS

• Solar Stage, 1998
• Factory Theatre Lab, 197
• Théâtre Passe Muraille, 1973

AWARDS  

THE WALLS OF AFRICA, 2001 – Three DORA Awards, including Best Production

PUBLICATIONS

THE WALLS OF AFRICA,  Scirocco Drama, 2002

LUCKY STRIKE, Playwrights Canada, 1989

THE BLUES, Scirocco Drama, 2003, Playwrights Canada, 1985

PASSION AND SIN, Canadian Theatre Revue, 1987

CHRISTMAS, Fineglow Plays, 1974, Return of the Big Five (collection)

MATHEMATICS, numerous publications including Fineglow Plays, 1974; Playwrights Canada, 1973

THE VIOLINIST AND THE FLOWER GIRL, Playwrights Canada, 1983

WESTERN, Fineglow Plays, 1973; Playwrights Canada, 1973

TANTRUMS, Fineglow Plays, 1974; Playwrights Canada, 1972

MOUSETOWN, Playwrights Canada, 1983

BRANDY, Fineglow Plays, 1974

 
EXCERPT

ALDO
Sure it does! Means if he’s got to be careful not to drink too much, he’s not to be trusted when he does!

TYRONE
What is this? What is this? C’mon Aldo, I don’t need this shit, I got problems of my own without listening to this crap. Save your preaching for the floozies. Which reminds me . . .

(With great gusto, TYRONE puts aside his literary problems.)

. . . where are the dames, Aldo, I don’t see no broads around here today, what’s going on, huh? What happened to that B-girl that hangs around here? You know the one I mean, has a funny name, Tipples, Nipples . . . Ripples! That’s her, Ripples! C’mon, Aldo, let’s get her over here whadya say?

ALDO
Look Ty, you heard what the girl said, she’s retired.

TYRONE
Come on Aldo, grow up. Retired! You gotta be kidding! You point me out a broad that’s retired from that sort of thing and I’ll point you out a broad that’s got something very wrong with her. We are of course, not talking about my mother right now.

ALDO
Tyrone, you’re showing me a side of yourself that I don’t particularly wanna see.

TYRONE
Aldo, Aldo, hey, what’s the matter? C’mon Aldo baby, brighten up! You’re supposed to be the guiding light in this joint. Aldo what’s wrong?

ALDO
Nothing’s wrong.

TYRONE
Ho, ho, ho, Aldo, I see you’ve got a funny look in your eyes. Either you’ve had a death in the family, or you’re in love! Now, which is it?

ALDO
You know Tyrone, for a writer, you can be pretty pedestrian! Yeah, I’d say pedestrian!

TYRONE
Hey, hey, Aldo, let’s not get personal now. So, so, so, you got the old stars in your eyes, eh Aldo? Who’s the broad? Huh, do I know her? Hey c’mon Aldo, who is she?

ALDO
Shaddup.

TYRONE
She stacked? Loaded? How’s the ammunition on her? Got the old bazoombas, eh Aldo? She wiggle her tail? (Does a sample walk.) Hey! It ain’t that floozie, Aldo! C’mon Aldo, tell me it ain’t that floozie!

ALDO
No, it ain’t the floozie, and don’t call her a floozie.

TYRONE
Hm, some other dame. Now who can this walking, talking bombshell be, I wonder. Well, c’mon Aldo, tell me about her, talk elucidate, describe her virtues, her charms. Tell me all about that stuff she’s got that’s endeared her so to you. C’mon Aldo!

ALDO
Well, you know, the usual dame stuff.

(TYRONE waits.)

TYRONE
Can you be more specific, Aldo?

ALDO
Well, let’s say you’re at the race track! Now see that horse over there? Well, nothing’s happening. Absolutely nothing! Then, pow, the bell rings and boy does something ever happen to that horse! Does something ever happen to that horse!

TYRONE
Yeah? Yeah? (Very excited.) What happens? What happens?

ALDO
(Shrugs.) Maybe she wins the race and maybe she doesn’t.

(Pause.)

TYRONE
Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?

ALDO
(Impatient.) Well, she’s like that horse! The broad we’re talking about! She’s like the horse! You asked me to describe her, didn’t you?

TYRONE
Yeah, but Aldo, I mean, there’s gotta be more to her than that! Now, let’s get into some details here. Like, what does she do for a living? Is she a lady of financial means? Does she wear falsies? Is she one of the finest women that walked the streets? Is she a farmer’s daughter, a preacher’s daughter, a rich bitch, a spoiled brat.

(He’s really off now. Full speed, with one breath, no pauses the rest of the way.)

Is she subtle, sublime; erotic, exotic; insane, inane; bizarre, banal? What are her topics of conversation? Is she well versed in the arts? What movies does she go to? What books does she read? Does she read any books? Who are her favourite authors if she does? Mark Twain, Hemingway, Edgar Rice Burroughs? What’s she like without her lingerie or even with her lingerie? Soft and fleshy? Skin and bones? Hard as a rock? Plump and cuddly? Did you get a bite? What’s she taste like? What perfume does she wear? What flavour, what scent? How much do you love her? How much of her do you love? Which of her zones astound you most? What was the preview like? Was there a preview? How was the expedition? Where did you journey to? What mysteries did you unravel? Would you wanna see them again? Did it remind you of a childhood experience? What does she remind you of most? Candies, classical music, Veronica Lake, philosophy, apple pie, a jungle in Africa! Did she make you wanna be in the Belgian Congo, Aldo! Like Teddy Roosevelt and Livingstone? Did visions of that nature lurk in your mind? I mean, did she make you yearn for those bushes and trees and monkeys? Could you see yourself saddling up some elephant? Did it make you wanna stroke a stiped pussy and pet its claws? Slide down a giraffe’s neck? Watch a hundred native dames dance in the nude, tits bobbing up and down, jiggle, jiggle, woo-woo? Or carry a spear and pierce you a heart? Sit on the grass, bask in the sun, listen to the rhinos make out, play Bach on an organ in the middle of some empty vast land to an audience of ground mice, get bit by a tsetse fly and catch malaria, bang a missionary lady on some river boat, go and spill mud all over the Commissioner’s wife’s white Sunday dress, then rip the goddamn dress off and do it to her right there and then on the wet grass by some swamp full of mosquitoes only to find yourself sinking in quicksand and try to clamber out and watch yourself go further down and yet still be capable of one last valiant act and roar like a lion and see your muscles rip out of your arms and reach for that snake above you and climb up and out to the miraculous safety and drag her out after you and save her life and see her feel forever indebted to you and take advantage and walk with her into the sunset, hand in hand, your two bare asses shining in the rays of hope, and have kids, dogs, houses, cars, washing machines, Coca-Colas and live happily ever after till death do you part! Did that happen to you Aldo, the very first time you set eyes on her?

(TYRONE jumps on top of the bar.)

I mean, did she lift you up there Aldo? Can she do it? Is she woman enough to drive you round the bend? Woman enough to make you wanna have so much heaven, you can just let yourself slide all the way down to hell? Well is she or is she not that kind of a girl, Aldo? Well, goddamnit, what say Aldo!!

(A long, stupid, thoughtful pause.)

ALDO
Well. (Beat.) What when drunk one sees in other women, one sees in her sober.

TYRONE
Is that good?

ALDO
Hard to say. She reminds you of the ideal daughter millions of fathers and mothers never had.

(Beat.)